I was eventually pressured into confessing to my perceived crimes against the Sea Org in front of an Ethics Officer, which is the Church of Scientology equivalent to a police officer. At this time I was in Florida and my home was in Los Angeles. So I was sent back to Los Angeles, made to endure more confessionals and eventually kicked out of the Sea Org by a committee of people.
They left in my hand a paper recommending Scientology counseling that was promised to cure my gayness and return me to a normal straight life so I may one day rejoin their elite group.
Later on, because of my disagreements with the Church and my inability to keep my mouth shut I was eventually "shunned" or disconnected from my immediate family which consists of my Father, Mother, Brother and Sister. I regret the conditions in which this happened and I miss my family dearly. My Father challenged my integrity for posting anonymously which inspired me to go public with my story on The Village Voice blog "Runnin' Scared".
I have no interest in ever reconciling with the Church. As long as my parents are Scientologists the Church will stand between us and I will never have a relationship with them like I did when I was a child.
My inspiration to write this story has come from the therapeutic nature of sharing my experiences and from others who have pushed me during my time commenting on The Village Voice blog "Runnin' Scared". It also comes from the hope that one day my parents may read my story and see things from my point of view instead of just the point of view that the Church of Scientology has given them.
This story will be filled with my hopes and regrets, laughs and tears, highs and lows, ups and downs. I can only hope that it will be as enjoyable for you to read it as it is for me to tell it. I will try to keep the events a sequential as possible.
I also suffer from some lost memories. In time I have regained some. Should this happen during the course of telling this story I will go back and make the necessary updates.
-- Derek Bloch
In Memory of Brenda Singer -- my late aunt
I love you and I miss you.